S.A.G.E. Extended Version
Introduction It's not a surprise that this is another story. I'm not so sure where this came from. I just remember one idea came up and a few others joined in, leaving the first one dissolved into literally nothing, leaving a very compilcated story. Transcript ''The Entire Program *("Larry's High Silk Hat" plays as the opening credits roll) *Simon Narrating: (Overlapping song) Ahoy there, Captain Simon here. In the not-too distant future, 3,000,000 kilowatts and lightyears from Strawberryland and in the cards, a tale is told of a time not too far past when in the house of Seville, there came into the world three pirates - Alvin, Theodore and me. But the occasion was not the joyous ode to Dave Seville had dreamed of for his horror - whether his three long-lost sons were turned to the future and used our money until a new job comes along or maybe, invest our new money and... something else. Ashamed, Dave locked us away from the eyes of the outside world and sent many people to keep us. They told their subjects to Dave that his three boys were such rare beauties, that we were stolen away. Years passed, and Mr. Seville died; taking his secret to the grave. He had the residence in the hands of an ambition regent and me, Theodore and Alvin in the grips of the people. And so things remained, until just before we were of age to ascend the thrones, we escaped and fled deep into the city of Nineveh. To seek the aid of those onlookers, this is the ''real reason why we meet Strawberry's loot. *(Pan down to the Light Factory palace) *Simon Narrating: It all started when Nineveh stopped becoming the biggest, meanest city around. What a glorious feeling at the Light Factory palace. The people there are particularly nice to us. Due to a substandard performance four years ago, Jonah wanted God to destroy Nineveh, but he didn't. *(Alvin, Simon and Theodore approach into the palace) *Simon: Wow! *Alvin: Believe it or not, in this palace; we're famous! *Theodore: Here comes the city officials to greet us! *Simon: Hello there. *City Official: We got some suckers. Send them to the astonishing contraption of burning! *(Bags are pulled off their faces. Alvin is flipped upside down, Simon and Theodore are both tied) *City Official: Their punishment - the astonishing contraption of burning! *(People laugh) *(Alvin, Simon and Theodore break the ropes and they meet Buccaneers Lunt (The gourd with a red bandana covered by a tricorn hat) and Larry (now with eyebrows on his pirate outfit). They brushed their moustaches. The cordless satchel that was stapled to the side of Elliot's belt was copied by Alvin's satchel.) *Alvin: Hey, Buccaneers Lunt and Larry. *Buccaneer Larry: How's it going? *Buccaneer Lunt: Hey, what's up? *Simon: What are you doing here? *Theodore: Remember that time when you were cheese curl celebrities of all Nineveh? *Alvin: Umm.... no. (whispers to another person) Hey, you gotta help me. I've been kidnapped by a cucumber and a decorative gourd. *Buccaneer Larry: Well, we've got the perfect manual for a machine. *(A few people, including Kyle, hop in) *Kyle: What's all the commotion? *Buccaneer Lunt: We've rented the DVD instruction manual from the library before. *Person 1: I have plenty of lumber on my boat. I should at least pinch in. *Person 2: I got some tools on my boat. I could work overtime. *Kyle: I based this off of a poster for Dagget and Ramsdell toiletries. *Person 3: I have an extra blueprint of the poster! *Person 4: Me too! *Sheep: (baas) *Buccaneer Larry: (Whispering to Alvin) He said "Me three". *Person 5: I saved up some allowance. *Person 6: Me too! *Person 7: Me three! *Person 8: I love to help! *(The people build the machine. Buccaneer Lunt holds blueprints of the machine) *Buccaneer Larry: Looks cool. *Kyle: The walls are up, *Person 1: The contraption is almost finished. *Person 2: And someone showed up with a lever to place onto. *Buccaneer Larry: Aww, thanks. *TV Reporter: How many lives have you lived? *Buccaneer Larry: Billions and billions! *TV Reporter: What does this machine do? *Buccaneer Larry: Simple. When there are prettier girls or fancier boys around, Lunt and I will make them! *("I Won't Go to Beans!" plays) *(They take the machine out of the palace.) *(Meanwhile...) *Simon Narrating: The next day, we arrived at Ninaborough. *Construction Worker: Looks like someone showed up with a couch. *Alvin: Really? (Lies down) Hey there. What are you wearing? In that case, can I get a large pepperoni pizza, extra cheese? Thank you. *Miss Minchin: C'mon, hurry up! *Alvin: Headmistress Minchin!?! *(Horse neighs) *(Buccaneer Larry carries in Strawberry) *(A baseball flies past Alvin and out of the stadium.) *Simon: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your timeless angerness. *Police Chief: Who is that guy? *Sheriff: She was handing out berries yesterday. *Police Chief: That sounds fishy. Think ya took 'em. *Sheriff: I'm gonna throw up on some Skittles. *Police Chief: We gotta keep our eyes on her. *(A few people stay behind after some leave) *(Strawberry puts up some boards) *Strawberry: I never said that someone blew up and the city official was mad. *Police Chief: All cruise guests don't like to think of their friends are mad. *(Sheriff throws up on some Skittles) *(Strawberry shows a board showing Buccaneer Lunt's ageline) *Molly: "How old is Buccaneer Lunt?" *Strawberry: Why don't we come back to that? *Milli: Sounds pretty good. *Gil: "How smart does Captain Pa think he is?" *Police Chief: That's smart of him to think about how smart he is. *Geo: Who's Captain Pa? *Molly: Move along. *Gil: Nothing to see here. *Geo: "How much does Buccaneer Larry look?" *Gil: He looks so charming. *(Strawberry texts Buccaneer Larry) *Sheriff: I used to have a cellphone like that. It's the same one Strawberry used. My brother downloaded too many apps and sent too many mean text messages so I killed him and took that cellphone to the dump. *Milli: Really? *Chog: (with a clipboard) Strawberry, you have a big day filling in for Dave Seville. There are several functions that require your attendance. *Villager 1: (tauntingly) Well, if it isn't the Rhubarbarian. *Villager 2: (tauntingly) Go back to your own kingdom, Rhubarbarian! *Molly: I'm gonna go kiss Elliot someday! (Hops onto a table) That will be efficient. *Villager 1: We're eating here. *Molly: Somehow, Elliot looks very stylish as Strawberry's girlfriend. *Villager 2: I'm trying to walk here. *Molly: (Hops onto a condiment booth) I knew everything would go straight into a big world of dreams. *Villager 3: I was gonna get relish here. *Hipster Carrot: I dig efficiency. Watchin' my carbon hoofprint. (Drinks coffee) *(Hipster Carrot's body parts fall off and he dies) *(People lay on top of him) *Police Chief: If that is settled, (cut to him on an iceberg) I'd rather sit on an iceberg. *Milli: Aww... Buccaneer Lunt looks cute as a baby. *Buccaneer Larry: Thank you all for attending today's festivities. *Buccaneer Lunt: Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for... *Buccaneer Larry: The maestro from Strawberryland. *(Crowd claps) *(Strawberry hops up to the ceremony, holding a sword. A knight dances to the music playing on a boombox. Alvin starts to succumb to the beat. He gradually works up to a feverly dancing pitch. Soon, they dance up a storm. Elliot and Sedgewick smile sheepishly at them. As the crowd applauds, Strawberry mistakenly stabs the knight in the heart and nervously turns off the boombox.) *Strawberry: I knight thee. (Crowd gasps) *Simon Narrating: Strawberry held a root beer bottle, which she paid a dollar for at a local gas station. She stood on the harbor along with the people. She splashed the root beer at the stern of a boat on which many people were on. She also threw a candle at the boat. The flames climbed up each part of the boat as the people jumped overboard. *Buccaneer Larry: Nice work. *Townspeople: Straw-ba-ba-ba-berry, Straw-ba-ba-ba-berry, Straw-ba-ba-ba-berry Shortcake. I know a girl And there is no one sweeter She's got that special touch, Best friend in the world. And when you get to meet her You'll love her berry much. She's doin' fine. Growin' better all the time. She's cool She's fun She'll lead the way Straw-ba-ba-ba-berry Shortcake. That girl's so sweet Just like her name Straw-ba-ba-ba-berry, Strawberry Shortcake. '''She's so ve-ve-very extraordi-di-nary She's Straw-ba-ba-ba-berry '''Strawberry Shortcake. '''That girl's so sweet Just like her name Straw-ba-ba-berry, '''Strawberry Shortcake. *Townsperson 1: She's the big bad wolf afraid of. *Simon Narrating: They threw her in a barber chair. *Buccaneer Larry: Since you're filling in for Mr. Seville, can someone come in here and work on her please? *Barber: I can see what I can do. *Simon Narrating: The people wrapped a towel around Strawberry's waist. They placed a cheeseburger and a stuffed manatee in her invisible hands. They placed a big sombrero on her head and placed a pencil, a yellow legal pad that read "I Love My Lips", a doctor's cap, a ten-gallon hat, a high silk hat, a hairbrush and a slide projector on. A man places his hickory hat on top of the smooshed high silk hat, and his fake handlebar moustache above Strawberry's upper lip. The stacked hats covered her eyes. They even gave her dark red lips. *Strawberry: I can't see with all those hats! How'dja do that without shaving cream? *Guy with Moustache, Bandana and Hickory Cowboy Costume: Oh, it's a fake. I bought it at the party store. *Townsperson 2: She passes by here on her way to school and church. *Townsperson 3: She is such a jewel around here. *Townsperson 4: Of course, I've seen her. *Captain Pa: I am the rightful captain of anything. *Alvin: Have no fear. *Simon: If there's a sign of them around... *Theodore: We'll bring 'em in. *Captain Pa: I'm goin' back to Bathroom Town tomorrow. *(Timecard "The following day...") *Buccaneer Larry: Okay, sir. Hire some robot-versions of the Chipettes. *Painter Carrot: That'll take all day! *Buccaneer Larry: Then go pack a lunch. I'm giving you this lunchbox. Here's your machinery. I'm giving you the can. *Simon Narrating: During a conference meeting, Elliot and Sedgewick were sitting with a few people. They gathered to discuss the events on the first day of the slavery business. This was one of the few times no kids were allowed. Alvin, the turnips, me, George, Theodore, Mrs. Butterbun, Mr. Netterbaum, Mrs. Cashberger, Mrs. Bruckheimer, and Mrs. Fleagle were there. We were all seated around a long shiny oak table. Even Strawberry was there. *Head Conference Guy: What seems to be the problem? *Alvin: It all started when I was born. *Turnip 1: Do you think we should make posters and signs for the slavery announcement? *Strawberry: Note to self: Stay away from all future dreams. (Takes off her hat and places it in her lap) *Buccaneer Larry: Put your hat back on. *Strawberry: Okay, then. *Simon Narrating: Everyone started bringing up ideas on why they needed to begin the slavery. Suddenly, Sedgewick gave in. *Buccaneer Lunt: There is a business to attend to, mister. *Alvin: (While stapling papers) I know you'll do what's right. *Turnip 1: So, I never heard an answer for sure: Can we make signs and posters? *Simon Narrating: A chorus of agreement roared through the room. I did my very best to sink back into my chair. *Strawberry: It's not that, I just want to stop the slavery. *Mrs. Butterbun: Well, where did that come from? You practically defeated the evil with flashlights! *Mr. Netterbaum: And you loved getting what you want . *Mrs. Cashberger: And you loved building your life on a solid foundation. *Mrs. Bruckheimer: And you loved telling soldiers that they should just leave. *Mrs. Fleagle: Those have been my favorites so far that I got to see you do those kind of stuff. *Buccaneer Larry: Let me tie her up. *Simon Narrating: And just like that, a bandana was stuffed into Strawberry's mouth as Elliot and Sedgewick tied her up. *Strawberry: (muffle shouting) Mmph! But fellas, you can't do this to me! You better come to your senses. *Everyone in Meeting: Huh?! *Alvin: Maybe you should lift your mouth. *Strawberry: (breaks the ropes and takes bandana out of mouth) Elliot sort of... liked me. *Buccaneer Larry: Mother of mercy, why do I always have to be her boyfriend! *Buccaneer Lunt: 'Cuz you look the "romantic" type! *Alvin: Gentlemen, please. Strawberry Shortcake is a kind Viking. Give her a break, please. But Dave Seville died in a skiing accident. *Mrs. Butterbun: Oh my. I hope he's not talking about Sonny Bono. *Mr. Netterbaum: A rockstar pirate that doesn't do anything wouldn't do that. *Turnip 1: Come on! Hurry up with the slavery business, will ya?! *Head Conference Guy: I'm hurrying. *Alvin: Hold that thought. Which one of you turnips are gonna produce Mr. Marigold's slavery interview? *Mrs. Cashberger: What about special FX and stunts? *Alvin: Don't worry, we'll imagine the rest. *Mrs. Fleagle: But what if nobody knows Mr. Marigold's lines? *Alvin: If you don't know, just make some up so that people wouldn't remember. Kinda like Strawberry was... I think... a kooky creature. (Rimshot) *Simon Narrating: Strawberry was left speechless. *Buccaneer Larry: Oh, my bonnie lies over the ocean... *Strawberry: Well, Mrs. Butterbun, Mrs. Bruckheimer, Mr. Netterbaum, Mrs. Cashberger, and I think, Mrs. Fleagle will be co-writing and directing the interview. But Mr. Hosenfeffer will not be on. *Buccaneer Lunt: We should be making $20 a day. *Alvin: Yeah, and speaking of Mr. Hosenfeffer, where is he? *Captain Pa: He died during a polka accident. *Alvin: They made him go on crazy carnival games and then right in the middle of a polka, he died. But, in the meantime, we'll do it. Please, give me the scrolls, two quills and plenty of ink. *Simon Narrating: A cheer rose through the whole meeting. Alvin sat on a sofa, ready to write the script with Butterbun, Netterbaum, Fleagle, Bruckheimer and Cashberger. *Alvin: Okay, bros. I'm ready. Open the line. (Holding a scroll and quill pen) Well hello, little boy. What do you like to do in your spare time? *Kid 1: There was a boy, and a doll said "I want to play a game." *Townsperson 1: I made a slideshow and sang a song about the people in it. *Townsperson 2: When I was younger, I cried when I wanted a cheeseburger but the restaurant was closed so when they gave me the cheeseburger, I threw away the cheese. So my brother wrote a song about it and I was a poor little gourd who wants a cheeseburger but gets to "Burger Bell", one of my favorite fast-food chains right after they close. *Townsperson 3: I got out of a bear trap by myself. *Townsperson 4: Your "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything movie" has been copied by someone else. This is an emergency. *Alvin: Okay then, but who copied the movie? *Mr. Netterbaum: I think YOU did. *Townsperson 5: I used to sing your witch doctor song and your chipmunk Christmas song when I was very little. And I still sing your pirate song in the car and the shower, Buccaneer Alvin. You're family were immigrants from Latin America. Same with Captain Simon's aunt and uncle and Buccaneer Theodore's cousins. *Townsperson 6: You sang Mr. Seville's last song before he died. It was about throwing up in New York City, and the days you would spend choking on cheese curls and root beer 'round the corner. But it turned out that you were thinking of someone else. *(Montage occurs. Alvin goes overboard with creativity. Mr. Netterbaum, Mrs. Butterbun, Mrs. Cashberger, Mrs. Fleagle, and Mrs. Bruckheimer all seem to be going along with the production.) *Alvin: Whew. The interview is finished before the final bell. I need to use the bathroom. Once I'm done, Mrs. Cashberger, Mrs. Fleagle, Mrs. Bruckheimer, and Mrs. Butterbun, can you four send the interview out to the world? And can you get me a cranberry juice while you're at it please, Mr. Netterbaum? *Simon: (sighs and shakes his head in disbelief) Man, that about does it for me. I'm going back to Scotland to live in my parents' basement for twelve whole years eating cheese curls and drinking root beer. Adios, David Seville. *Townspeople: These are really neat guys! Everyone really likes them! They're brave and have rugged good looks!!!! *Lady: Ooh-la-la! I live here now. *Simon Narrating: They knew that girl lied. The Marigolds' name meant business. They were so rich their dungeon had a swimming pool, which was their supply of drinking water so they could last during each battle. *(The pirates who don't do anything climb onto balcony) *Buccaneer Lunt: Ahoy! *Martin: Pirates? In my office? You're getting me fired. *("Dudes, He Ate My Cake" plays) *Buccaneer Larry: What was I saying? *Strawberry: Hey guys. What's up? *Buccaneer Lunt: I don't want to die becoming a slave. *Captain Pa: Me neither. *Buccaneer Larry: I don't want to become a slave, too. *Buccaneer Lunt: I eat silliness history for breakfast. *TV Reporter: This just in: A zucchini who went by the name of Martin Marigold has broke out of jail and is planning to make the people all slaves. What can that do? When will this crime wave end? Can anyone defeat the evil? *Strawberry: I can give it a shot. *TV Reporter: Good choice, then. *Ginger Snap: We're like cool adventurers, like the kind that sail the seas. *Angel Cake: And the kind that defeat giants. *Orange Blossom: And the kind that search for ancient relics. *(Elliot hits his head on a big red sensor button next to a casino and speakers beeped. Sedgewick, George and Strawberry stood next to him.) *Martin Marigold: (From the speakers and appears from a holographic projector) Excuse me, I have an announcement. People of Ninaborough, become very afraid. Unless you be my slaves, I will terrorize Ninaborough. As my slaves, do certain things for me. Get rid of all real, rubber, mechanical, and/or plush flowers, sheep, cattle and chickens. Any pictures of them, too. Throw away all your baseball outfits and play baseball in your regular clothes. Stack pyramids of sheep all day. Every morning, sing the "I Want to Die Becoming a Slave" blues. Flush your office supplies down the toilet. Throw your shoes out the window. Put your homework on fire. Give your food to the cats. Tell the dogs that they're bad. Throw eggs at an old man's house. Tear down all the monuments of Strawberry and build statues of me. Work on cliffs. Cut the tops of flowers and throw them in the garbage. Pick up all the cheese on the pizza and burgers and throw it away. Put lemons on an old person's eyeballs. Sweep the dirt off all the stairs. Skateboard down the aisles of a supermarket. Write a book about racoons. Make a boat out of a race car and it will sink and everyone on board will die. Every night, stand by the cruise ticket booth wearing oversized ten-gallon hats over your eyes while holding bright lights. Anyone who disobeys these rules will receive a visit from Mayor Jimmy and me and then be cast into the belly of a whale! Now, be scared! Hahahahahahahaha! No one messes with me. And if anyone obeys and works on all those, Dave Seville will rise from his grave and that person will leave town. (Speakers and projector turns off) *Strawberry: Oh, no. *Buccaneer Larry: Don't get upset. *Strawberry: Upset?! "Upset" is waking up and finding out somebody forgot to give you a bellybutton. "Upset" is finding out somebody stole your nose to play foosball. This isn't "upset", boys. This is panic. I'm two squirts from being history. *Captain Pa: Don't give up hope. Somebody up there - must be really upset with somebody down here. *Strawberry: It's not that. It's just that - I just want to die. *Captain Pa: Look, little Viking girl, if you want to be a Viking - be a Viking. *(The very next day...) *Simon Narrating: Strawberry didn't sleep a wink that night. Neither did the Pirates. Ninaborough, of course, had suddenly become a scary place, at least to a happy-go-lucky fella like her, who thought wearing no socks in January was living dangerously. *Strawberry: (hops up to the mayor's office) What's his deal? *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: Listen. *(Mayor Jimmy stares at a baby in a gold basket) *Mayor Jimmy: Great granddad loves his little cuchi-cuchi-coo... *Baby: (cooing) *Mayor Jimmy: Yes, your mama's gonna be back soon you cutie, cutesy-coo... (gasps with a smile) Who's your favorite great granddad? Who's gonna be the mayor someday? (Did the baby talk while holding and rattling a multi-colored baby rattle) *Captain Pa: (passes by the mayor's office) Oh, boy. Here we go again. *Baby: (throws up at Captain Pa) *Buccaneer Larry, Buccaneer Lunt and Strawberry: (open their umbrellas) *Radio Guy: Welcome back to WMID, music for the attacking hordes. *Person: Yes, hello. I'd like to request Sampson's "Bringing Down the House". *Buccaneer Larry: Do you recognize this place? (Strawberry, Larry and Mr. Lunt approach the doorstep) *Strawberry: Of course I do. This is the office the mayor's daughter adopted me. (Swings open the door) I remember that day, I was so poor, I couldn't afford to see what was coming into me. *Buccaneer Lunt: Elliot, that's true. That was swell coming in. *Buccaneer Larry: Look! *Mayor Jimmy: Well, if Dave Seville knew how his life felt, he wouldn't care about his three boys. *Strawberry: He wouldn't? *Mayor's Daughter: He sure loved that place. He paid for all those statues they built of that Rhubarbarian. *Mayor Jimmy: He commissioned this place before his death. *Townsperson 1: He sure woulda want everyone to see it. I shoulda talked with him more. *Mayor's Daughter: I'd like to take that lumpy pickle and teach him a thing or two. *Townsperson 1: I'd weave his basket of peonies into a kettle of beans on toast! *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: I'm sorry, we gotta have... *Mayor Jimmy: Yes? *Honey Pie Pony: Is it this true to say that you're disturbing the chat with the people? *(Stawberry whispers to Buccaneer Larry) *(Buccaneer Larry whispers to Buccaneer Lunt) *Mayor Jimmy: Wait a minute, you're two of those lazy pirates! *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: Yes, indeed. *Mayor Jimmy: Isn't that boring? *Buccaneer Larry: Beats our laziness. *Buccaneer Lunt: Indeed, Jimmy. *Mayor Jimmy: Who is that kind woman my daughter adopted? Did she come with you two or did she come alone? *Buccaneer Larry: She is, Streben... Strebeanie? *Buccaneer Lunt: Strawberry Shortcake. *Buccaneer Larry: Strawberry Shortcake. *Mayor Jimmy: Ya know how to talk, young lass? *Buccaneer Larry: She's a bit... sly. *Buccaneer Lunt: She prefers to let us speak for him. *Mayor Jimmy: Well?! *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: Well, what? *Mayor Jimmy: You forgot to buy a new backbone with your new pair of glasses, miss? *Professor Hamlin: Yeah, well; we'll just see what the mayor has to say about you, MacMolly. *Mayor Jimmy: Yes? *Professor Hamlin: A friend of hers does lots of failed attempts. *Molly: I know it was true. That's silly of him! *Professor Hamlin: Mayor Jimmy, you run this place like a sleepy old bear. (Throws Molly into a trash can) Come on, MacMolly. Get in the wagon. *Mayor Jimmy: (pounding his mallet on desk) Tell it to the judge. *Buccaneer Larry: Sedgewick, you must talk to her. Strawberry must talk some sense into this caper. *Strawberry: I don't know, Elliot. I think it's a little too obvious. *Buccaneer Lunt: Well, we're nervous too. If you don't tell the truth, the people will send you to battle. *Simon Narrating: Strawberry was left with a decision if she told the truth to the queen or let the people kill her. Her mind stirred with thoughts and predictions. Finally, she made the choice to tell the truth to the queen. *Strawberry: I'm gonna show the queen and Mr. Marigold who's boss. *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: That's the spirit. *Strawberry: See you then. *Buccaneer Lunt: I knew you'd catch on. *Buccaneer Larry: We need to do all those things he told us in order to make Mr. Seville rise from his grave. Hamlin's sending Molly to court. *Buccaneer Lunt: Elliot, do we have time to grab a sandwich or a soda for that quest? *Buccaneer Larry: Hmm, maybe. I could really go for a bratwurst. *(Alvin, Theodore and Simon approach the mayor's desk) *Simon: Mr. Mayor, Dave Seville has died and I'm living in my parents' basement. *Mayor Jimmy: Where did you get your pirate captain's hat? And did you three forget that a person sang your pirate song in both the car and the shower? Send in the Peony Sisters! *(A guard brought in two girls that struck a resemblance to Angel Cake and Orange Blossom) *Peony Sister 1: We bought a sword to school the day we came. *Mayor Jimmy: Captain, arrest them and throw them into the Dungeon of Bitterness. *(SPLASH!) *(We go into the control room of the Spring Valley Recording Studio. Chog Norrius sat behind the control panels, with a set of headphones on.) *Man on Voice: Mr. Norrius, the camera is on. Both Strawberry and that elder grape captain are in the lobby. *Simon Narrating: The guy said it all. Strawberry hopped into an elevator and it zipped her up to the control room. But there were lots of people going in too, even George. (Cut to Strawberry, George and the people crammed into the elevator) The elevator grew hotter. For some reason, Strawberry grabbed a crowbar and pried the doors open a bit. But George pulled her back in. She slumped against a wall, gasping for breath. *Chog: Alrighty. Let's get on with recording Strawberry singing "A Gift of Love for Christmas". Ready, fellas? *Warden, Asylum Owner and A Random Zucchini (in a recording booth): Okay, sir. *Chog: And a one, and a two, and a one-two-three-four... *(Strawberry sings "Love for Christmas" in falsetto) *Chog: Welcome to Spring Valley Records. *Strawberry: It's nice to meet you, Chog. *Chog: Neat performance there. *(Captain Pa hops out of the elevator) *Captain Pa: What are you gonna record next? "Oh No We Do Today". *Chog: That would be the one. *Strawberry: Oh my. I hope he's not talking about Mr. Marigold. I'm gonna teach him a lesson he'll never forget. *Chog: That would leave your life go up in smoke. *Recording Guy: Well, he didn't tell her what to do. *Captain Pa: Hurry up! You're running outta studio time. *Chog: Okay then. *Warden and Asylum Owner: Oh no, we do today. The people hate Mr. Marigold more than you and I will do today. Oh no, we have to get him out of here. *Random Zucchini: If hung from a sediment, if it threw the sea. If we do salad, perhaps we fall well, if you invite to play the hidden. *Warden and Asylum Owner: Oh no, we do today. The people hate Mr. Marigold more than you and I will do today. Oh no, we have to get him out of here. *Captain Pa: And we left homeless in the woods without food, if it got on a boat and send them to swim without a life; he can drown unclaimed invite. *(Cut to Mr. Marigold and a few fruits and vegetables standing on a boat falling into a whirlpool, all screaming and yelling.) *Martin Marigold, and Miscellaneous Fruits and Vegetables on Boat: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up and then I'm gonna die! Mommy, tell it to stop! (Continues screaming and yelling) Take those produce off the U.S.S. Italian Scallion! *Warden and Asylum Owner: Oh no, we do today. The people hate Mr. Marigold more than you and I will do today. Oh no, we have to get him out of here. *Captain Pa: If you eat a lot of cookies, when you fall asleep once we sell. If we use it as a table or pool table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough. *Warden: Oh no, we do today. *Asylum Owner: Oh no, we do today. *Random Zucchini: Oh no, we do today. *Captain Pa: Oh no, we do today. If we use it as a table or pool table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough! *Martin Marigold: I hate how they turned against me. I wanted them to be lonely, like they were some bags of sausages. I feel real mad. *Guy: I see that was too worst. *Martin Marigold: Oh, no, they shall do today. They hate me more than you and they will do today. Oh no, they gotta get me out of this place. *Warden: Oh no, we do today. *Aslyum Owner: Oh no, we do today. *Random Zucchini: Oh no, we do today. *Captain Pa: Oh no, we do today. If we use it as a table or pool table moored, we sent out and way from Ninaborough. *Recording Guy: Dude, that was not cool. *Strawberry: This is turning out that I just followed Sedgewick and Elliot's advice. *Chog: What!? *Captain Pa, Warden, Asylum Owner and Random Zucchini: Oh no, we do today. *Chog: I'm disagreeing... *Captain Pa, Warden, Asylum Owner and Random Zucchini: The people hate Mr. Marigold more than you and I will do today. *Chog: With what you're seeing. *Captain Pa, Warden, Asylum Owner and Random Zucchini: Oh no, we have to get him out of here. *Chog: I feel like screaming. *Recording Guy: Please calm down. *Captain Pa: If we use it as a table or pool table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough. *Warden: If we use it as a table or card table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough. *Asylum Owner: If we use it as a table or ping-pong table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough. *Random Zucchini: If we use it as a table or game table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough. *Strawberry: Word. (Hits a ball with a ping-pong paddle) *Captain Pa: Elliot, Sedgewick, the warden, the aslyum owner, that guy and I are some mean dudes. *Warden: We sure aren't her friends. *Chog: Now I'm putting this on your permanent record. *Young Pea: Should we make Martin Jerry Marigold watch Where's God When We Don't Have the Time and Money to Make Another Show? , God Wants Me to Forget Them!?! , Are You Not My Neighbor?, Drac, Sack and Benny, Dave and the Giant Tickle, A Taste of VeggieFan2000's Favorite Story Ideas!, Sheerluck Shortcake, Orange and Ginger Watson and an Easter Carol, The Toy that Almost Killed Us - The True Story of Buzzsaw Louie, Very Stupid Songs!, Larryboy and the Bif, Josh and the Big Bovary!, The End of Smileliss?!, The Return of a Kind Viking, The Ultimate Stupid Song Countdown, Boa - both the movie and the sing-along disc, The Wonderful World of Stupidment! , The Ballad of Little Mo and An Ether Carol? Plus, 321 Heavens Trouble on Planet Hate Your Tums, 321 Heavens Cheating Skills of Bully-plank-uh and Larryboy: Lego My Eggo. And as that guy says, we'll order him more DVDs including Ray Gorge and the Dummy, The Story of Esther and How She Killed the Easter Bunny!, Soup-o , California James and the Search for Sonic's Hairbrush, Oliver and the Big Exit!, Lord of the Beads, California James and the Search for Mickey's Umbrella, Robyn Good, The Star of Christmas and Chanukah Doesn't Get a Star and a few others. *(Cut to Elliot and Sedgewick in the lobby) *(Strawberry hops out of elevator and sits at a table) *Buccaneer Larry: (relieved) Whew... that went well. *Buccaneer Lunt: Well, what should we do to stop this case? *Buccaneer Larry: To the archives. *Simon Narrating: So they went up to the information center. *Buccaneer Larry: We were gonna tell if that evil zucchini was mean. *Alvin: I understand your concern, Mr. Hosenfeffer, but I assure you that this test score won't affect Christina's college ignitions in 2nd grade. Oh, isn't that cute? She's in the second grade. I bet she's adorable. *Buccaneer Lunt: Hardly anyone agrees with Mr. Marigold. *Alvin: You - never seen you. You - write a ridiculous song to Mr. Marigold. *Buccaneer Lunt: Ahh, no. *Alvin: Write a ridiculous song to Mr. Marigold. *Buccaneer Lunt: (overlapping) No. *Alvin: Good. *Buccaneer Larry: I sent a rather silly message to Mr. Marigold on Strawberry's cellphone the other day. *Alvin: (holds his breath) Sorry, I'm late. *Simon: I'm going joggling. *Theodore: Me too. *Alvin: Hey, who's this ''guy? *(Later that evening...) *Simon Narrating: Now, don't get me wrong. Showing up uninvited before the mayor was a very brave thing to do. But telling the guards that Mr. Marigold is a werewolf is especially difficult. *(Strawberry locks her door) *Townsperson 1: Evening. Strawberry, could I afford you into some cute little robo-cowboy cops? *Strawberry: Wait a sec... is that a robot and a cowboy? *Townsperson 1: And a cop. It's from the new movie. I could also afford you into his robo-horse-mobile. *Townsperson 2: What about this here bag of money? *Townsperson 3: What's the word? *Simon Narrating: Things got tense. The stand-off distance stretched on as Strawberry sat with Larry and Mr. Lunt. Several people pulled up couches to watch. Firefighters came. Television crews arrived. *Buccaneer Larry: If you don't stop the slavery, your life may cut off. *Buccaneer Lunt: Those people will lose their jobs. *Simon Narrating: You got that right. You will notice what the people are doing to that old building, too. They went bankrupt, they sold it, they shut it down and they destroyed it in a huge fire. *TV Reporter: Attention, attention. This just in: Martin has hired pirates. This is the TV reporter, signing off. See you then tomorrow. Aloha! *Sarah: Well, what did Strawberry do because of this? *Simon Narrating: Well, never before; she gotten a message that she really wanted to deliver. She didn't know what to do. And just like that, someone lit a candle and placed it on the rooftop of the factory causing it to burn down and the workers inside all packed their bags, cleaned out their offices and left, frustrated and disappointed. Get lost, workers. You're fired. Go on. Scram. Get outta here. *Worker 1: You were gonna sell. *Worker 2: After all of our hard work. On the late nights! *Simon: Yup. G'bye. Adios. Hasta la vista. Ciao. Sayonora. Buncha nachos. *Worker 3: Seller. *Worker 4: Thanks for the lies, Mr. Fairytale. *Worker 5: Let's go waste our time somewhere else. *Simon: If Strawberry had the courage, they'll never know. *Strawberry: I guess that coulda been worse. That factory is destroyed. I need to find out more. *(She scurries up the balcony of Mr. Marigold's palace) *Simon Narrating: Strawberry looked through some coin-operated binoculars and saw all her friends. They were all clowning around. The pumpkin-headed children, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, even the Chipettes. *Strawberry: Gotcha! Time to do my duties. *(Strawberry runs into a cruise sign which read "See the World - Friends and Family Cruise") *Ticket Man: Ticket please, ma'am. There's nothing like a cruise to clean the sand outta wicket, eh? *Strawberry: I'm goin' to Tarship. *Ticket Man: Ha-ha! It's the other end of the world. *Strawberry: Awesome. *Ticket Man: If ya had all the money, no one around here will sail all the way to Tarship. Not even those girls over there. *(Mysterious music plays as a silhouette of an elegant pirate ship sails into view) *Simon Narrating: What a difference it took. Mr. Marigold saw Strawberry as we were leaving the harbor. *Martin Marigold: That young girl is in big trouble. If I see your face again, I'll turn you all slaves. *(Transition to people jumping on board with Alvin, Simon and Theodore as the boat leaves) *Simon Narrating: So he commanded many people to row ashore. Even though they never sailed before, they took it like a fish to water. *Strawberry: It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on! *Ginger Snap: Money is no object. *Person 1: The Pirates gotta get some money. *League: (except Strawberry) What do they need money for? *Person 2: Operations. *Simon: Cool. *Mr. Malab: League, ya better waltz to my quarters and discuss this over cakes, fruits, cookies, cheesecurls, pizza, and rootbeer. And take those people with you. *Ginger Snap: But, captain... *Mr. Malab: No buts about it. *Simon: Tell them the truth. *Ginger Snap: Speak to the fire god. *Alvin: Wait, if those grapes in the hold were evil, wouldn't they already know? So that meant... they're the Peaoni Brothers - the most wanted peas in Persia. *Simon Narrating: So I went to talk with the fire god in the captain's quarters. I should convince him to bring the light of our world back at the time. Once we were finally out to sea, Strawberry went below deck to rest a bit. *Buccaneer Lunt: I have a weird feeling that she isn't done wrecking our boat in a huge rainstorm. I'm figuratively speaking, of course. *Buccaneer Larry: Me too. *Painter Carrot: What? *Woman on Voice: The police man is behind the billboard. *Painter Carrot: Oh, that loser again? *(Policeman holds a box. He opens it and three pirates stand in.) *Pirate Impostor 1: This doesn't look good. *Pirate Impostor 2: I think I'm gonna be sick! *Pirate Impostor 3: My heart will explode! *Police Chief: Come on, you guys. (Sings first lines of Pirates who don't do anything song) *Painter Carrot: It's kinda weird though that a man would say he wants to stay home and lie around. I have dinner to go to. *Simon Narrating: But just as that painter came over to someone's house for dinner, it was too late. Buccaneer Larry caught the painter carrot and the impostors. *Buccaneer Larry: You're coming with me. *Police Chief: (spits out coffee) What'cha doing!?! You're ruining the billboard, Miss Shortcake!!!! No!!!!! Oh, Lord; why did you let this happen!?! Get your filthy hands off of that carrot, that tomato, that gourd and that asparagus, Miss Shortcake!!!! *Simon Narrating: Buccaneer Larry threw them into the slammer. *Pirate Impostor 1: Like Pa, Larry and Mr. Lunt, we're not cool pirates. *Pirate Impostor 2: Like the kind that rob and pillage. *Pirate Impostor 3: And swordfight people, swab the poopdeck, and search for buried treasure. *Simon Narrating: I wonder what (Cut to ship hold) Strawberry is up to... *(Strawberry throws down a bag and sits down on a bench) *Simon Narrating: That was a very silly surprise. The bag just talked. She threw the bag onto a barrel, and out came... peas!?! *Guy with Black Hat: Allow us to introduce ourselves. I am Jude, the smartest one. *Karen: I am Karen, the awesomst one. *Reuben: And I am Reuben, the chubbiest. *Strawberry: Nice to meet ya. Now, where is this ship going? *Jude: Tarship. *Karen: One time, our uncles were tortured by the city official. *Reuben: That's surprising. *Karen: I know that. *(Strawberry groans) *Karen: What's wrong there? *Jude: There is a man in that palace. A beautiful young leek? He is waiting there for you. *Karen: Would that be either Alvin, Simon or Theodore? *Reuben: No, it had something to do with his body shaped like a dog. *Jude: You were promised to be married, but your life is now in the way. *Karen: The man's mother is the head of an international league of bandits. *Jude: So, this day, you sail there and break the back of them which will break the heart of that guy. *Reuben: Let's go help the League find someplace on this boat to sleep for the night. *Strawberry: And can you get me a glass of strawberry juice while you're at it? *(White limbo. Strawberry walks across. Everything is mysterious.) *Strawberry: Yes. Which way is Tarship? *Ticket Man: (Croaking) Right this way. You can't miss it. *Strawberry: Thanks. (Hops off) *Random Angel: (O.S.) Strawberry? *Strawberry: Hmm? Who is it? *Random Angel: (O.S.) I'm very disappointed in you. *Strawberry: Oh, hey. I'm gonna... *Random Angel: (O.S.) Very disappointed! *Strawberry: I can't hear you. *Random Angel: (O.S.) You've lost the spirit of Christmas! *Strawberry: But Lord, you don't understand. (Notices she is in standing water) Oh boy. I'm drowning! *Random Angel: (O.S.) STRAWBERRY!!!!! *(Dream ends) *Ginger Snap: Strawberry? Strawberry? *Strawberry: I'm drowning! *Ginger Snap: C'mon wake up! We're in a storm like I've never seen before. If we don't do something quick, we're gonna sink! *Mr. Malab: (scoffs) Didn't I at least tell you to get off my ship, you lousy leaf-eaters! *Karen: Yes, but you see; we're gonna break the back of those bandits. I love crimefighting. *Mr. Malab: If it ain't for this, I'll drop a piano on your head! We're gonna be fish food if I don't get help. *Jude: How do you feel about an indoor pool? *Ginger Snap: Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here. *(The ship rocks violently) *Mr. Malab: Someone up there is real upset with someone down here. It ain't gonna let up 'till we know who that someone is. It could be any one of us. Cast lots! If it falls on you, you take a swim! *(Lightning flashes. Everyone startles. We montage through the intense element of casting lots as the storm continues to rage. We dissolve between different lots depicting to fall on someone. We see character's faces as the casting progresses - if they're holding some lots, they're nervous, if not, they're relaxed. The casting shifts and Judah is on the loosing end. We cut to a wide shot of the pirate ship and see it being tossed around by the waves. We hear reverby "cast lots" and various "aarghs" and "oh boys" throughout.) *Simon Narrating: So we casted lots and it fell on the captain. *Mr. Malab: So she got on here. I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea. *Strawberry: Goodnight, sir. Nice knowing ya. *Alvin: You've been mostly entitled for a refund. *Karen: Underneath the circumstances, you know, with you dying and all. *Ginger Snap: Not so fast. I suggest we use a Jupiter 1600 horsepower, high octave, dual-propeller pull-ignition boat motor with the optional chrome trim package. It can get you back to where you were. *Karen: I'll explain how this works. It appears that one just pushes the black bubbly thing and pulls the cord. *Alvin: That would be dangerous. (Everyone turns toward him angrily) Simon, Theodore and I will be watching from a safe distance. *(Just then, the propellers catch the surface of the deck of the ship. Wood chips fly as the spinning blades propel the engine all the way across the decks - ripping a trail in the planks. Cut to shots of the propeller chasing characters through screen. They gulp as the motor follows. It then crashes through the ground rail on the bow of the ship and drops in the sea.) *Simon: That's the final time we're ever gonna get a boat motor. *Simon Narrating: The storm grew higher. We cried out to God as Mr. Malab was pushed into the ocean and the seas were calm again. (A group faint) We tried to pull him back on board. A shark then swallowed him whole. (The group cry) Many people lost hope. Strawberry wasn't nervous. She danced for joy as you know, during such a crisis like this because she thought the crisis was over. *Strawberry: It's a lovely day. *(A crewman screams) *Annie Oatmeal: (Trembling with fear) Do you think a shark like that should crush a cheeseburger? *Angel Cake: (Trembling with fear) Are you kidding? *Orange Blossom: (Trembling with fear) I couldn't believe that. *Ginger Snap: (Trembling with fear) I think a shark like that should crush an SUV in a week past due. *Jude: Just suppose that shark will put the crew on time-out. *Reuben; Most likely. *Karen; He can leave the whole wide world in a mess if he did that again. *Boat Crewman 1: I am going to die. *Boat Crewman 2: That's it. *Boat Crewman 3: I am going to die. *Shark: Hmm. You sort of look like candy. (Hops onboard) *Simon: Uhh, we need a bigger boat. *Shark: And now, crewmen, if you don't mind - you are in a ''big ''time-out! (Puts duct tape on the crewman and ropes and tied them to chairs) *Raspberry Torte: We shall do today. *Blueberry Muffin: We worked so hard here on both Strawberry and on this pirate ship. *Raspberry Torte: I hate sharks. This is gonna be the worst day of that old sour Mr. Marigold's life. (To Captain Simon) Won't it, sir? We shall keep doing today and we need to get him out of here. *Blueberry Muffin: Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody quite down here. And that "someone" is... the Captain Malab himself. *Rainbow Sherbert: If you don't mind, Mr. Shark. *Lemon Meringue: Get off the boat! (Shot a tennis racket, a rubber mallet and a bowling ball from a cannon) And if you don't, then eat up that masked girl too. *Simeon: What do we do? *Reuben: Without him, the ship may crash. *Levi: I don't want to go bathe in a swimming pool full of cheese puffs in a cave ever again! *Gad: When I got in the cheesy vat, my rubber ducky went down the drain. *Ash: I miss my rubber ducky! It went down the drain as well. *Izzy: We're all DOOMED! *Dan: "MacStrawberry's Death Cruise". *Natty: Brought to you by Minnesota Cuke (holds up the Minnesota Cuke jacket and fedora), Larryboy (holds up the Larry-Boy helmet), and the Attractive Gravity Team. *Zeb: Somebody should take his place. *Jude and Karen: We can give it a shot. *Simon Narrating: Even the best bloodhound in the world hits a dead end sooner or later. The terrifying ablaze of Strawberry was facing the chicken of the sea. Meanwhile, with Strawberry gone, things back in Ninaborough were falling apart like a wet taco. *Gil: Hang on. You want to ride on a seahorse. *Kid 1: On Randalf! *Gil: You want to ride on Randalf the red-nosed seahorse. How do you spell "Randalf"? *Molly: I don't know. *Kid 1: Seriously?! *Gil: A silver rabbit? *Kid 1: Silver robot! *Gil: I can't even read my own writing. *Geo: You want to jingle-jangle some bells. *Kid 2: Some Rhode bells and I think, silver bells. *Milli: A gold zucchini? *Kid 2: A gold zebra! *Simon Narrating: Meanwhile, back in the Spring Valley Recording Studio, Larry and Mr. Lunt stumbled upon a peculiar item of interest. *Person on Computer: Plug in a laser machine and watch the lasers go! *Buccaneer Larry: Mr. Lunt, if this doesn't go over the top, nothing will! *Chog: Ready, fellas? *Pirates: OK, sir. *Chog: One, two, three, one, two, three... *Pirates: We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. We just stay home... *Chog: Hold it, Buccaneer Larry. You're a little flat. Let's try again. *Pirates: ...And lie around. And if you ask us to do anything... *Chog: Hold it, Buccaneer Larry. *Buccaneer Larry: (sadly) We'll just tell you... (Smiles a bit unconsciously) *Chog: Well!?! *Buccaneer Larry: I'll tell you what, Dad. Let's take a break. *Chog: Take a break!? *Buccaneer Larry: Have... we met? *Chog: MACLARRY! *("What's Up with Strawberry?" plays) *(Elliot and Sedgewick hop into the elevator as George jumps out of a window. George joggles to the gates of Ninaborough but was hit by a bus and thrown into the window of a casino.) *Casino Owner: Aww, come on! I just put a new window there. *Simon Narrating: Yes, no one could figure out what they were up to. Along with a few people, Mr. Lunt and Larry followed Strawberry all the way to the light factory palace. *Buccaneer Larry: Sedgewick and I are gonna stop this foolish case. (Adds a picture of Strawberry married to Huck to his photo wallet) *Gil: (Squints at scroll) I'm confused with the list. What is a Back-Babylonian Pickle? *Kid 1: ''Bad-Balonga pencil. *Mayor Jimmy: We need to keep an eye on them, Mr. Marigold, and of course, my great grandson. (falls asleep on his desk) *Brittney: (sends the mayor's great grandson to battle) *Buccaneer Larry: He's right. *Captain Pa: Sail to the Light Factory palace and call the cavalry. *Buccaneer Lunt: Aye, aye... Captain Crunch! *(Captain Pa growls) *(Buccaneer Larry snickers as he and Lunt head to the cruise ticket booth) *Captain Pa: Call me that one more time, and I will make you work for your great Martin Marigold!!!!! *Kid 2: What? They're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! *Buccaneer Larry: 'Cuz since we've done all the things the Marigolds suggested, I think now would at least be a good time to get the money for those operations. *Kid 3: Why should we help three pirates get operations? We've got better work to do around here! *Molly: I know what you mean. *Captain Pa: (chases patrons from a dollar store. He replaces a few letters and turns it into "Polar Store") *Patrons: (race back in) *Turnip 1: (scares patrons from a mall away and destroys it with a gun) *Turnip 2: (throws a cart into a window) *Turnip 3: (rips stamps off, then laughs evilly) *Buccaneer Lunt: (through a megaphone) Enough pillaging and plundering. *Buccaneer Larry: (through a megaphone) Attention, ladies and gentlemen; I have an announcement. Sedgewick and I are rounding up a search party. We're keeping these lists of clues. (Mysterious oohs and ahhs are heard) Who's with me? *Geo: I'm in. *Molly: Me too. *(Chorus of agreement) *(Dissolve to black) *Simon Narrating: I knew it was tricky to see that the people destroyed almost half of the entire village. *(Fade from black to reveal the belly of the shark) *Simon Narrating: The captain pouted. Then angels came and comforted him. They sang "God of Second Chances". *("Girlz in the Sink's debut song" plays) *(Timecard "The next, NEXT night.") *(Mysterious score plays as Karen, Reuben and Jude were complaining around a fire.) *Karen: I can't believe why Hamlin's car-wagon thing was installed to a spark plug yesterday. *Jude: Mais oui! *Reuben: That was humiliating! *Karen: What are you talking about?! *Jude: What do spark plugs and gangsters gotta do with...hey, you don't mess with another man's spark plug! *Reuben: Then go lick one, then! *Karen: Go back to where you came from, pirates. Alright, if you don't want to get rammed into the S.S. Italian Scallion, then you'll listen what I need to say. Reuben, better climb up to the crow's nest, get a megaphone and get the captain's attention. Alvin, reel in your message. Judah, you help me steer. *Simon Narrating: (darkly) Well, the captain turned dead... and the Marigolds wouldn't listen. And the big sharks spread and they still wouldn't listen. And the big oceans come, and the Marigolds wouldn't hear it. And the people turned scarce, and they still didn't fear it. And the scaries came up in every dimension and the storms blew in still they wouldn't pay attention. *Townsperson 1: Hey, Blackberry the Pirate Ship Wrecker, you dead yet? Or are you gonna wait until you free those people? (Goat maa's) *Simon Narrating: But I, Buccaneer Alvin, and Buccaneer Theodore had something else in mind. We were fighting to keep the ship steady. Judah took Mr. Malab's seat as Karen sat beside him. Reuben climbed up the crow's nest, and grabbed a megaphone to get the captain's attention. *Karen: Judah, let me know if you see anything in our way. *Jude: Got it. Rocks. (Swerves to the left) *Reuben: This is an important resolution: No one has heard of Mr. Marigold in days. No more of those mamsy-pamsy pleasantries. *Alvin: When Mr. Marigold arrives at that palace, (Pulls out some ropes and a net) we'll nab him for good, pure and simple, got it? *Strawberry: (with a scuba mask, and an envelope) Right. Got it. *Alvin: Do you have it? *Strawberry: Yeah, I got it. *Alvin: Look, now remember. You give some barnacle-scrapers on the USS Italian Scallion the invitation before they drown. It's the same one Elliot tried to give the mayor to. Once they drown, you're able to dive down there and pull them back onboard that ship. *Strawberry: Got it. *Three people: (scraping barnacles off of boat) *Boat Captain: Hey, be sure to scrape the barnacles from underneath, too. *Alvin: Okay, go. *Strawberry: (whisper shouting) Man the cannon. *Karen: Aye, aye captain. *Strawberry: (Whisper shouting) Fire one. Aim this time, Karen. *(KABOOM!) *(The barnacle scrapers drown) *Strawberry: (dives down and fishes barnacle-scrapers out of the ocean and back onto boat) Keep up the good work, Buccaneer Alvie. *Alvin: Oh, the U.S.S. Italian Scallion, may her deacon become married to me. *Boat Captain: (standing on a raft) Buccaneer Alvin, there's a bill saying that you need to pay for the damaged motor you bought. *Simon Narrating: So Buccaneer Alvin nervously took the paper. He, Buccaneer Theodore and I stared in amazement at the price which was written on there. *Theodore: Eight trillion, twelve billion, twenty-nine million, forty-eight thousand, and fifty-six hundred cents. That's more than what we paid them to install the motor on the ship. *Boat Captain: For pirates that don't do anything, they sure do get into a lot of crazy situations. *(Timecard "The next, next, NEXT night...") *Simon Narrating: Then we all knew something strange happening. The captain died inside the shark. Strawberry Shortcake, and her not-so merry friends are running off with every able-bodied person and equipment on the boat like they were some crazed kindly Viking burgular girls with strawberry juice all over their faces. *Alvin: Did you just say "strawberry juice all over their faces"? That makes a good disguise. (Flashback to him approaching a gas station in Ninaborough in an SUV. He wore the same costume Larry had on as Elf Lawrence in "Merry Larry and the True Light of Christmas". He puts a cordless gas pump into the gas tank. He runs and grabs a soda and once he paid for the soda, he puts on some strawberry juice on his face and his lips.) It's working. It's twisting my appearance. *Earl: Oh my goodness! What a hideous monster! (Opens register and takes out all the money) Please take this money and get outta here so I don't have to look at your disgusting features. (Slips on a banana peel) You and I both know you don't want to be here. With this much cash, you can get back home. *Alvin: I'll try. (Alvin takes the money as his face resembles Larry's and he laughs evilly as he exits the gas station with the money. The flashback ends.) Yeah! Works great until they caught me. *Strawberry: (Pulls out book "The Trueness of a Good Leader") "Now, captain, it's perfectly normal that you might stand in breezing occurence. I'm tryna make ya comfortable. I will allow you in the signs of my splendor - such as, answers to unusual questions, major miracles appearing or disappearing against your will." *Alvin: Nice. "The Trueness of a Good Leader." Let me check your records once you give me that. *Simon Narrating: Strawberry dramatically tells everyone about the truth of the Marigolds. We arrived at the palace. *(They arrive in the palace) *Alvin: Welcome back. *City Official: Arrest them...again! *Alvin: Oh, no. Not again. *City Official: Oh... is it? *(City Official pulls out knife and slits the bottom of Alvin's pack) *Alvin: I thought they were free samples! *(WHACK!) *(Bags were pulled off their faces. Angel Cake is flipped upside down, Ginger and Orange were both tied to the back of a sheep, and Strawberry had the ropes cut) *(The league gasps, except Strawberry) *Angel Cake: I didn't know to say this, but this is crazy. *Simon: I'll say. *City Official: Their punishment... THE ASTONISHING CONTRAPTION OF PANTS-BURNING!!!! *(People laugh) *Simon Narrating: I do not like the sound of this. They demonstrated the contraption. Which you see is a giant lightbulb shooting a laser and turns you into paste. The league, except Strawberry cried. *City Official: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... KING TWISTOMER!!!!!!!! *(Crickets chirp) *Alvin: Where is he? *Theodore: He's on vacation! *Simon: But look. Sorry for the inconveniece but King Twistomer can't make it tonight. Your substitute for him will be Queenie-Pooh. *Simon Narrating: Panic rose fast. (A silhoutte of a gang appeared from the seas) *People in Palace: It's Mayor Jimmy and The Marigolds! *Alvin: I don't like the sound of that. *Townsperson: You never told me you were a pirate. *Alvin: Well, I'm not robbing from anyone. *Townsperson: You shoulda been in bed by now! *Alvin: I'm gonna send your butt back onboard the pirate ship and maybe you can go to bed! *Townsperson: You can't do this to me! I'm going to kill you! *Simon: (Points his sword to the city official) That's it, you're walkin' the plank. *Theodore: He's forcing that city official to walk the plank. *Simon: Judah, you better hire someone else to be a city official. *Theodore, Alvin, Reuben, Karen and Jude: Attack! *Simon Narrating: The others pounced on me, so I attacked the city official. He, Theodore, Karen, Reuben, Jude, Alvin and a few people piled on and on like we were sumo wrestling him in a dohyo. *Karen: Get another guy to run this palace. *Simon Narrating: Karen yelled. Jude insisted... *Jude: Mr. Official, you're fired. *Reuben: You know nothing! *Simon Narrating: Reuben screeched. Then Larry, Mr. Lunt, Jonah and Kyle sat on a cliff. This was the same cliff Jonah sat on when he was waiting for God to destroy Nineveh. *Kyle: I shoulda listened to Jimmy. *Buccaneer Lunt: I know it was true! *Jonah: Charge in the palace! YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK BAD! *(A soldier takes Jonah to battle) *Soldier: Come on, MacJonah. *Jonah: YOU'RE USELESS, PATHETIC, AND ANNOYING!!!!!!!! *Buccaneer Larry: I knew that'd get her. *Simon Narrating: They heard the cries of the outraged cowboys, and the mischevious popstars. *Karen: I'll see how much wondering there is when everything is thrown away from you. *Simon: Arrrrrrrrrrgh! *City Official: Why is there a grape with a black cowboy hat and a few of his brothers and his girlfriend in here wanting to pee in my bed?!? *Alvin: Ya never said it was true!!!!!!!! *Karen: I'm gonna kill you, mister. *Simon: I can never tell when you're looking! *Theodore: You should talk! *Boat Captain: (spit out by the shark, slimy and smelly with sap and weeds) Everyone's gonna love campin'. Anybody bring a tent? *(Ginger Snap, and a few people hop onto USS Italian Scallion and sail to Ninaborough, and approach a register at a thrift store in the empty streets of Ninaborough far off) *Simon Narrating: On their way back to Ninaborough, what Ginger Snap and the people found out was clearly a shocking surprise - the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything's ship had been robbed by bandits, those girl scallion pirates, and George was left behind. I threw those girl leeks in the police cars and they got arrested. He picked up fleas and they bit him. As they went in, George got on a refrigerated cargo ship. *Ginger Snap: (dings the bell) *Earl: I don't want to do this. I threw up on some trees but that's it. No blood or slime or anything! *Ginger Snap: You're talking about your Christmas vacation. We're here to get an order of a big Viking ship. *Earl: (grunts) That'll be $15.20. (Boat lands into Ginger's lap) Thanks. *Person in Crowd: Ginger Snap, the mayor would like to see us. *(Cut to the mayor's office, looking forlorn. Ginger Snap and the people that brought the boat approach as they notice a light going on. Pirate Impostor 2 looks down at them) *People (Except Ginger Snap): Lyle the Kindly Viking!?! *Pirate Impostor 2: Good morning, my merry friends. Busy day ahead. *Ginger Snap: You're still sticking with your kindness and I trust you're well, Lyle. *Pirate Impostor 2: I was just trying to become a pirate who doesn't do anything. *Ginger Snap: I couldn't help but notice that we're gonna stop that Old Man. *Pirate Impostor 2: Okay then, good luck. *Ginger Snap: Why don't you join us? *Pirate Impostor 2: Well, I usually don't go on raids so I just stay home making all this kind of stuff like potholders. Other than that, yes, I would like to help. (Closes window shades, turns out the light and hops off with his bag of potholders and the small bag of money his Viking friends gave him) *Simon Narrating: The mayor was mourning for his loss of his great grandson. A tear wells up in his eye. Brittney built a coffin and placed a R.I.P. sign on. It was quarter past dawn. All the people were still in bed. The door opened and it revealed to be Ginger Snap, and the people who nervously looked at the mayor. (Ginger Snap points to the coffin that read "R.I.P. My Great Grandson") *Mayor Jimmy: Nooooooooooo... not my great-grandson. *Ginger Snap: Excuse me? *Mayor Jimmy: Yaaugh! I just fell asleep on my desk until Brittney sent my great grandson to battle. Then, when he died, Jeanette and Eleanor buried him while Brittney built a coffin, so I placed it on that empty cradle there. *Person in Crowd: We came to assure you that God meant business. If you don't, face dire consequences. *Mayor Jimmy: What? *Ginger Snap: I WILL kill you. *Person in Crowd: You still run this place like a sleepy old bear. *Mayor Jimmy: Big deal. Go back to the light factory palace before Mr. Marigold loses his patience! *(Ginger Snap trips over her feet, hitting a floorboard which sends Pirate Impostor 2 flying out.) *Ginger Snap: Hmm, what could it hurt? Let me talk the police into this case. *Simon Narrating: So Ginger Snap went to the police headquarters. They were assigned to the case. They listened to her story. She then went to Strawberry's house. But the shades were tightly drawn and no one even answered the door because it was locked. Things got even more tense. Both Captain George and Ginger Snap realized that they were wrong to abandon Strawberry in the wilderness. *(Evil cowboys surround the palace. They throw metal nets on the guards.) *People: But, but... *Simon: (Points his sword to them) NO BUTS ABOUT IT! *(Silhouettes of Larry, Mr. Lunt, and a few people show up) *Simon Narrating: Oh, the captain turned dead, and the Marigolds wouldn't listen. And the big sharks spread, and they still wouldn't listen. And the big oceans came and the Marigolds wouldn't hear it. And the people grew scarce, and they still didn't fear it. And the scaries came up in every dimension, and the storms blew in, still they wouldn't pay attention. (Breath) Strawberry could not get through... Oh, what could she do? Theodore, Alvin, Karen, Judah, Reuben and I barricaded the gates. We pushed furniture and dressers in front of the gates. At that very moment, Larry, Mr. Lunt, Kyle, the pirate impostors, Molly, Mr. Netterbaum, Mrs. Cashberger, Mrs. Bruckheimer, Mrs. Butterbun, Mrs. Fleagle, Geo, Milli, and Gil banged on the gates with crowbars. Molly, Gil, Mrs. Fleagle, Mrs. Butterbun, Mr. Netterbaum, Mrs. Bruckheimer, Mrs. Cashberger, Geo and Milli set up tents. Kyle was munching on a leg of ham while sipping a 72 oz. Slurpee. Despite Strawberry leaving, she never knew why we were so caught up in forcing the city official to leave. Luckily, for Larry, he hired some professionals. While Mr. Lunt fired the city official, Geo sat inside his tent, ready to get a nap. He almost got a glass of water until Judah went into his tent. Reuben, Karen, Simeon and Zeb followed. Huck zoomed over on his skateboard, all beaten up and bruised by gangsters. Professor Hamlin whacked him in the forehead with an old umbrella, giving him a black eye. *Jude: You never told me you had to give the city official a taste of your super shape power to make him fired. *Geo: It was a bit stale so... *Reuben: I knew that. *Karen: He ate his own dust, anyway. *Theodore: I was hoping that could turn up. *Turnip 1: What did you just call me? A turnip!?!? *Reuben: I can't move my arm! *Alvin: I coulda called Captain Pa and see if he'll turn up. *Turnip 1: Grrrrrrr.... stop calling me a "turn up!" *Alvin: Yipes! *(Phone rings) *Kyle: I'll get it. Oh, hey, Mr. Jonah. It's not too late to talk business. I'm saying that you were asked to go to this city of Nineveh and tell the people here to stop slapping people with fishes but you got on a pirate ship and swallowed by a whale, and you were spit out and when you got the message, God wanted to destroy Nineveh, but he didn't! Oh, that's a hoot. *(Jonah lies on ground with R.I.P. sign) *Kyle: Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! What!? Are you crazy?! You're one of God's prophets! And now you're....dead!?!?!? *Angels: Forever alone... *Kyle: I'll see ya on the flip side. I gotta stop Mr. Marigold. Who will be me? *Gil: You can count on me. *Buccaneer Lunt: I'm in. *Buccaneer Larry: Someone's gotta take Jonah's coffin. *Kyle: I can give it a shot. *Buccaneer Lunt: I have an idea to stop him. Gil, use your cellphone for help. The Mayor, the Navy, Dr. Jiggle and the Nick Crew, even Dave Seville! Molly, call the fire department. Geo, keep them with your super shape and of course, your super skating powers. Milli, practice your karate, measuring and of course, your super pattern powers. Kyle, you untie the League. Elliot, write a ridiculous song to Mr. Marigold. Alvin, Simon and Theodore, go to the queen and talk with her. Mr. Netterbaum, check for loose change in that boat that was dragged in here. Mrs. Cashberger, find more gold to buy cheese curls and root beer. Mrs. Fleagle, bake him a quilt. Mrs. Butterbun, help Mr. Netterbaum with checking for some allowance. Pirate Impostors, pull many foolish pranks. Mrs. Bruckheimer, you go help Elliot write the ridiculous song to Mr. Marigold. Huck, grab some ropes and nets. When the Marigolds come, we'll nab them. Pure and simple, got it? *Everyone: Got it. *Huckleberry: (Holding a net) A massive curvy kittens eating corndogs! (Rimshot) *Gil: (Holding a net) Alas, your scurvy mittens your sea bus. (Rimshot) *Alvin: I, Simon and Theodore are celebrities here. *Queen: (frowns) Slap them! *Alvin: You don't understand. Strawberry is a kind Rhubarbarian. You shoulda told her about her kindness. *Strawberry: I might as well reveal the truth. (Hops onto a box) That captain whom I pushed had done something terrible. Orange Blossom, Ginger Snap, Angel Cake, Alvin Samuel Elliot, Simon Bartholomew George, and Theodore Louis Sedgewick, Huckleberry Pie, Blueberry Muffin, and I must fight back Mr. Marigold's revenge and there must be a reason. If I want to be a Viking, I'll be a Viking. I am ''a kind one, you know? (Background transitions into fiery pits as a man sings in an angelic voice) *Huckleberry: (Hurtling a rope) Where's the crew? *Strawberry: They're in good hands. *(The crew are in time-out in the hold, tied up with duct tape. Their eyeballs popped out.) *Simon Narrating: While everyone was working on the plan, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything were starting to fret. *Buccaneer Larry: I always have a list of fears. *Buccaneer Lunt: We've pulled out all those stops and used every single trick. *Buccaneer Larry: Well, the warden, the mayor, the asylum owner, and a few people, including Mrs. Bruckheimer tried attempts to coax my girlfriend out of jail. But after each attempt, nothing happened. *Captain Pa: Not by the fact this palace is as clean as a Christmas turkey. *Buccaneer Larry: You're right, Captain. What is a Christmas turkey, anyway? *Buccaneer Lunt: (whispering to an old lady) Google Image one. *Buccaneer Larry: I dunno, I was hoping that those people that tried breaking Strawberry out of prison would turn up. *Captain Pa: That doesn't sound like her, does it? *Buccaneer Lunt: First, Strawberry pranked us into oblivion, then she tried to repay the incident to us, and now our lives of being cheese curl celebrities have gone up in smoke. I told you she wasn't done wrecking our boat in a huge rainstorm. *Buccaneer Larry: That poor girl... she'd be pranked into oblivion. *Captain Pa: The city official we fired just lost his marbles. *Buccaneer Larry: DID YOU NOT SEE OUR SPEECH IT YELLED!?!? *Simon Narrating: Elliot and Sedgewick started to cry. Worst of all, Ginger Snap then called the cops. Chog Norrius rushed in. *(Police arrive) *Police Chief: Freeze! *Strawberry: Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming. The police has arrived and Alvin, Simon, Theodore and I will strike letting the people of Ninaborough go free. *Queen: We must hear the message. *Strawberry: There's someone plotting me and against my friends. *Alvin: Who would dare do that? *Strawberry: It... (The pirate impostors gasp) ...is... (Larry and Lunt gasp) ...Martin... (Alvin gasps) ...Marigold. *Everyone in Palace (Except Larry, Lunt, Ginger Snap, Huck, Theodore, Alvin, Simon, Pa, Orange Blossom, Angel Cake, Blueberry Muffin, Rainbow Sherbert, Raspberry Torte and Lemon Merengue): (Angrily, gritting teeth) BLACKBERRY THE PIRATE SHIP WRECKER! *Strawberry: My fellow patrons, please stop calling me Blackberry the Pirateship Wrecker. *Chog: Romans, attack the Pirates and send Blackberry the Pirateship Wrecker to the front lines. *Blueberry Muffin, Angel Cake, Orange Blossom, Ginger Snap, Buccaneer Lunt and Rainbow Sherbert: (flustered) But... wa... ah... guh... Strawberry... why?... *Sheep: (baas) *Buccaneer Larry: (throws up) *Captain Pa: Let's kill Blackberry forever! *A random dog: (sniffs) *Geo: (faints, like in Boo-Boo Ville 2) *Molly: (faints) *Martin Marigold: Elliot, your girlfriend's gotta go. *Alvin: (hurtles his net over him and his men) Gotcha! *Simon Narrating: A crowd has gathered around Elliot, Sedgewick and Strawberry. They looked around at the angry group of onlookers. Strawberry then attacked the police. Suddenly more police came. Television crews arrived as well. Several people pulled up couches to watch. *Ginger Snap: (Pointing a sword) You leave her alone! *Queen: What!?! *Angel Cake: (Holding a rubber mallet) Let her go! Set her free! (Pounds mallet into a wall) *Orange Blossom: And that cucumber, grape, decorative gourd, and those leeks too. *Simon: (Darkly) Ahoy... *Molly: Oh, dear. *Gil: We're gonna die! *Geo: This doesn't look good. *Milli: I'm gonna throw up. *Simon Narrating: They say that what goes up must come down and that pride goes before a destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Looks like nobody told that to me, Theodore and Alvin. *Buccaneer Larry: Kind Shortcake, why did you turn into a Viking? *Strawberry: I've been taking Viking class. But I'm afraid that any bad guys will kidnapped or destroy me while I'm in my normal self because I turned out to be a human damsel-in-distress like it happens. *Buccaneer Lunt: So you dressed up as that kooky creature? *Strawberry: I think I broke my pelvis. *Buccaneer Larry: Ooh, that's gotta hurt. *Chog: Aye, no one knows why you had that pelvis-breaking outfit on. *Strawberry: True... *Alvin: I noticed why. *Captain Pa: You wanted to know why you were here. You never need to be afraid to do what's right. I'll pray for you, we'll all pray for you. *(Strawberry, Elliot and Sedgewick sat on a cliff) *Buccaneer Larry: What are we doing? *Strawberry: Oh, it's time to watch the fun. *Buccaneer Lunt: And, what would ''that be? *Strawberry: I filled in for Mr. Seville, I asked God to do what's right and I warned that those people are gonna get in trouble. I picked a safe distance so we won't get singed. *Simon Narrating: So Strawberry waited for God to destroy the palace. *(Fire falls onto the palace) *(A vine grew over her) *(Fireworks explode) *Geo: Wow! *Molly: Holy mackerel! *Gil: Cool fireworks! *Milli: The people got what they deserved. *Captain Pa: You see, even a big spectacle can make your life go up in a flash. *Simon Narrating: Strawberry stood for what was right and the Lord destroyed the palace, just as said. And so she, and her two companions lived happily ever after. The end. *("Bellybutton" plays as the closing credits roll) And In Closing, Everyone... Well, there you have it. The story of Strawberry, Alvin and the great escape. Filmed entirely on location in Las Vegas, Nevada (And parts of Lincoln City, Oregon); I hope you read this. They started this with just a small budget. Buccaneer Alvin Samuel-Elliot Seville, Captain Simon Bartholomew-George Seville, and Buccaneer Theodore Louis-Sedgewick Seville, were just short guys in costumes. They built a miniature set out of clay and used a small camera to make them look like they're giants. If you need me, just PM me. And remember, you never need to be afraid to do what's right! Category:Transcript